Excuse me, New Year’s Resolutions.

Who do you think you are? Putting more pressure on us to be ‘better people’ after one of the biggest nights of the year?

I don’t know about you, but we’re all just trying to get past the hangover.

The holiday season is to blame. It’s the one time of year we eat up, spend up, booze up … and wake up on New Years Day feeling guilty (or, still drunk).

We’ve pushed our bodies, our emotions and our credit cards to the limit. But this year, it’s all going to change, right? We’re going on diets, we’re putting double on our mortgages and we’re never drinking again. YES!

No, Resolutions. No.

Quite frankly, you should be ashamed. You’ve set us up to fail at our most vulnerable and foggy-headed time.

You only have to look at Twitter or Instagram right now to witness the madness. Every brand under the sun is jumping on board. “Oh, January, hmm – I know – let’s do New Year’s Resolutions!”  How original. As Jim Carrey would say:

Somebody Stop Me

Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for a challenge. I’m the first to add murky green chlorophyll to my water every January and cry “detox”. You should see the looks I get at work. But surely the key is a constant journey of little ‘I Will’s’ – not one single thing that’s impossible to sustain…

So this year, we’re making mistakes, lots of them.

We’re travelling to places we’ve never been before.

We’re trying things we’ve never tried – even if it is something called chlorophyll.

And we’re going to make ourselves feel amazing, little by little, every day.

Perhaps from now on, we should call you New Year’s ‘Revolutions’, instead.

‘Cos I’m certainly not making any resolutions.

Who wants to be a cheap, skinny, sober chick, anyway?

Yours sincerely,
Jess